The best way to know the self is feeling oneself at the moments of reckoning. The feeling of being alone, just with your senses, may lead you to think more consciously. More and more of such moments may sensitize ‘you towards you’, towards others. We become regular with introspection and retrospection. We get ‘the’ gradual connect to the higher self we may name Spirituality or God or just a Humane Conscious. We tend to get a rhythm again in life. We need to learn the art of being lonely in crowd while being part of the crowd. A multitude of loneliness in mosaic of relations! One needs to feel it severally, with conscience, before making it a way of life. One needs to live several such lonely moments. One needs to live severallyalone.

Wednesday 22 March 2017

EXPECTATIONS

Sometimes, you feel empty from within
Sometimes, you need to feel lost
Sometimes, it is a journey to nowhere
Sometimes, words just don’t add up
Sometimes, you just need it to be like this
When you fail to speak to even your soul
Life has been brutalized by expectations
‘What was there yesterday’ is not over
Yet ‘what will be there tomorrow’ begins
Life has become a maze of equations
Of burdening relations, of forced lies
You don’t know when you stopped caring
For a life that you had begun together
You could not realize when it slipped out
Like a borrowed identity, like a fake living
That life became a stranger in your chores
You got habituated to what you despised
Words used to be your friends in a past
But they sound like quirky existences now
Sometimes, they flow, like a yesterday
But their friction hounds every other day
Asking questions you don’t want to answer
But the truth is you need to answer them
It is not that you don’t realize this
But swept over by expectations of a life
That you never thought would be yours
You find those spaces of sanity choked
You meet your estranged life and soul
And fail to read your past and present
In a mad rush to meet expectations
When you can’t connect with words
Where you can’t correlated with journey
When your identity looks like a stranger
Where your life stops making any sense
In moments, when pain becomes unbearable
You cry for an honest introspection
You long for a clean slate, again, from within
And you madly try to make sense of words
On a journey that you did not choose
In moments like these, you try to feel lost
In a desperate effort to speak to your soul
To make sense of where it all began
To see if you can still heal your existence

©SantoshChaubey