The best way to know the self is feeling oneself at the moments of reckoning. The feeling of being alone, just with your senses, may lead you to think more consciously. More and more of such moments may sensitize ‘you towards you’, towards others. We become regular with introspection and retrospection. We get ‘the’ gradual connect to the higher self we may name Spirituality or God or just a Humane Conscious. We tend to get a rhythm again in life. We need to learn the art of being lonely in crowd while being part of the crowd. A multitude of loneliness in mosaic of relations! One needs to feel it severally, with conscience, before making it a way of life. One needs to live several such lonely moments. One needs to live severallyalone.

Tuesday 9 August 2016


So, this year's Friendship Day is over, or for me, the first Sunday of August. But this year, it seemed, like the Valentine's Day, the Friendship Day is also going to see some meteoric rise in its profile in the near future.

It seems the Friendship Day is also on way to get upscale with a swift rise in visibility, relevance (or which way you want to look at it) and mannerisms (with all the reservations or slants you may have).

What told me that it was the Friendship Day was my cellphone when it started beeping the WhatsApp messages it was receiving one after the other - and dot at midnight - at 12 AM. There were many, so many that I don't remember when I had received such a great lot the last time except the New Year wishes.

And the flow continued the next morning when I opened my Facebook account to check the feed. There were messages and wall posts by the people in my contact book. People were busy writing and singing friendship paeans, were busy liking, reacting and responding to the wisdom quotes explaining the real essence of friendship. Some were posting even songs and video themes.

It all sounded so good. It looked like the whole creation had become your friend. And the best thing about it was you didn't need to put efforts for it - that you didn't need to throw your so-called post-modern, over-liberal tantrums. It just happened. It was so spontaneous.

There were many who had not bothered about you in ages, those who had conveniently forgotten about your anniversaries (including your birthday) - but see the prowess of the communication technologies - it wiped out all the time lags in one go - all the grievances (if they really existed) - reconnecting you to one and all.  All the distances got jettisoned in one go. It seemed more effective and direct than anything you could ever have imagined.

The mainstream media proved the "change" it needed to be for the Valentine's Day to become a pan-India phenomenon - to become an intrinsic part from the cultural import it used to be - to gel with the 'cool, urban lifestyle' - to influence and civilize the 'still untouched rural or small town life' - and to co-opt the remnants who still felt otherwise.

The social media is doing the same for the Friendship Day, especially WhatsApp and Facebook - this Friendship Day told me. And its good.

So..Happy Friendship Day folks..(and my belated Valentine's wishes for those who have taken a plunge).. :)

Yes, like everything else, a Valentine's Day - or a Friendship Day - has both, positive and negative, facets. It all depends on you - how do you perceive life - that how do you see good to feel good - that if you walk the talk - that how do you walk the talk. It all depends on which side of the line you are - that you exude the new-age coolness from your persona - or you are still about the same boring stuff that defines an old school product.

It is like about your girlfriend/beloved (or boyfriend). It is for sure that your girlfriend (who may have become your life-partner by now - whom you see as the most sincere and committed person in your life) would have posed this question - "Though it doesn't matter but can tell me how much do you earn?" - and you would burn the midnight oil in convincing her of the depth of your pocket - otherwise she would start with her calculations (or vice versa in some cases).

And you don't see any conflicts here - because this is the new-age paradigm - the new parallel practical of the old school. There would be countless folks who would have faced this situation and would have acted in the similar manner. And the trend is only going to pick up - because such girls (or boys, whosoever fits the bill) are fundamentally correct. Financial security must come first. One cannot substantiate emotions just by big, old school ideals. For them, the practical considerations come first - even before initiating on the thought that would ultimately lead to the thought of being together with someone "special".

And people are getting even more 'cool and practical' with friendship. Now the old school inhibitions seldom come into play here. Social media platforms like Facebook or Google Plus have made everyone in your address list your friend. They have categorized friendship in multiple layers and the best thing about it is you don't need to be 'chuddy buddy' with someone with his (or her) best friend. And even best friends now have categories - like the one with whom you can do your routine time pass stuff at 4 AM - or the one with whom you can tag along with during your time out sorties and - or the one who can act as your 'this number or that number' before your 'friends'  and so on .

And it's all in the name of new-age spirit and newfound principles riding high on the waves of revolutions - first the mainstream media - and now the social media - the new communication technologies which have bridged the gaps - which have wiped out the distances - which have killed the time lags -  which have caused the feedbacks (of every sort) to move in the real time - which have cocktailed cultures like a highly skilled bartender does blurring the lines of this or that side - and which have created perception of new identities.

Folks, just imbibe this spirit. Stop looking for romanticism in love. Don't idealize friendship anymore. The new 'cool and practical'  breed is as right in their approach to life as the old schools guys are. It's just that they are populating the universe very rapidly now - outnumbering their old peers. The old folks would learn to live with it.