The city pulls me.
Yes, it is not one of those ordinary or routine or normal
reasons that call me to never forget this city, to keep this city among the
places in my life where I need to come back again and again.
It is complex.
Whenever I come to this city, I routinely find myself disgusted
at its potholed roads with clouds of dust, be it in any part of the city. I
find myself at staring the ubiquitous garage heaps in every lane, on every road
of the city and feel increasingly frustrated about it. I see badly manned and
managed traffic stuffed with people and vehicles in every part of the city and
feel so helplessly trapped.
And during recent two trips, after we chose Narendra Modi to
represent the Varanasi parliamentary constituency with hopes to change its fate,
I even felt having a sense of loss on losing some hard earned chance to
The city’s dirt quotient is still the same as it was in May
2014. There are some efforts but the city needs massive reconstruction and
modernization to become a world class heritage city, something that Varanasi
deserves. We can’t say when the day will come though we pray for it daily and
we can say the efforts so far don’t meet the requirement. Banaras Hindu
University, inseparable element of Varanasi’s identity, continues to earn bad
name with caste ridden factions enjoying their dominance. Quality of education
is consistently going down in this temple of education that is known globally.
But whenever I come to this city, I feel an internal harmony
that is refreshing. I feel so charged up – in the lap of Mother Ganga – that things
start looking a shade more positive. I feel so complete, so deep inside me,
that living spontaneously gets lyrical. Varanasi is uniquely famous for its
crowds and I adore feeling a nameless soul in the multitude of people.
How I live this paradox is a question of satisfying internal
inquiry for me.
Varanasi gives me what other places couldn’t give me –
something I cannot define – but something that I don’t feel restless about.
Yes, the city calls me – again and again – and I come back
to it – again and again – feeling at loss at myriad of problems it faces – and celebrating
the peace at the same time that it offers.
Probably, that is one of many aspects important in making a