The best way to know the self is feeling oneself at the moments of reckoning. The feeling of being alone, just with your senses, may lead you to think more consciously. More and more of such moments may sensitize ‘you towards you’, towards others. We become regular with introspection and retrospection. We get ‘the’ gradual connect to the higher self we may name Spirituality or God or just a Humane Conscious. We tend to get a rhythm again in life. We need to learn the art of being lonely in crowd while being part of the crowd. A multitude of loneliness in mosaic of relations! One needs to feel it severally, with conscience, before making it a way of life. One needs to live several such lonely moments. One needs to live severallyalone.

Thursday, 14 February 2013



The grandpa-aged uncle is in urgent need of some medical intervention. He needs a doctor and medicines that can work on him. Age is not the only factor that is adding to his problems. At 81, he is burdened with many physiological problems and the medical diagnosis has failed to put forward any effective hint about the problem directly affecting his mobility and so his life.

Medical consultants like neurologists, cardiologists and orthopaedic surgeons have ruled out that is he affected from any chronic illness of nerves, heart or bones. Even a psychiatrist was approached but his medicines produced negative effect making his ‘difficult mobility’ even more difficult.

He has had a long critical medical illness history but the specialists are unable to make any sense of it in the context of his present condition. His one ear is dead since the early 70’s; other is partly working with hearing aid. He had an open heart surgery in the 90’s. He regularly takes blood pressure pills. Last year, he was hospitalized after danger of cardiac failure and some seven-eight liters of fluid was taken out of his body.

Another problem that has much to do with his increasing immobility is increasing sense of inertness in his legs and abdomen.

This problem began some five-six years ago from legs and now it has reached to the abdomen. He feels a sort of heaviness in these parts weakening his legs rendering him unable to stand-up or to walk even smaller distances. His abdomen stiffens like a hard ball. He feels extreme weakness, but surprisingly there is no sensation of pain.

MRI and every other medical diagnosis recommended by the experts have been carried out. Even then, the categories of medical experts mentioned above have failed to detect any infirmity and so to resolve the crisis.

This time, it was thought to go for some other form of treatment, preferably Homeopathy. After deliberations and advices, a name of South Delhi based doctor was found to be most impressive. Now, the grandpa was to be taken to the clinic of the doctor.

On calling the clinic, the people there tell that any nearest appointment available is only in April 2013. If there is urgency, then we can walk-in on the days the doctor sees the walk-in patients. There is no appointment for it over the phone. One needs to come to the clinic and wait for his turn to see the doctor.

As the need is urgent, it is decided that the grandpa should be taken to the nearest walk-in session. One fine day, they begin for the Bengali dominated locality where the clinic is. The doctor’s sitting hours are 4:30 to 8 PM it is told. They start at 3:30 PM and reach the clinic by 4:30 PM.

There, they are made to sit in multilayered queues. On surface, the number of people waiting doesn’t look more than 40 and they breathe easy thinking it should be over by 6 PM.

While enquiring for the charges, they are told by others that the doctor doesn’t charge the consultation fee from the walk-in patients. They only have to pay for the medicine. Only the patients coming through the appointment need to pay the consultation fee of Rs. 1000.

The claim of charity, as claimed by the clinic’s website, they think, is somewhat true. Yes, the person accompanying the grandpa had one some googling on the doctor and had some basic information about the doctor.

The website claims the clinic has distributed over millions of charity subscriptions over the year. Also, he could spot patients there who could not afford the high consultation fee of Rs. 100. So, giving the prescription free made a renowned doctor accessible to the needy. So far so good.

A short while after 4:30 PM, the call is made for everyone to take the registration number. The grandpa’s number is 36. Also, they come to know that everyone waiting there is not to see the famed doctor only. There are other consultants in the clinic and many of them are getting registered for them as well. Another prospect of breathing easy!

But it ended at this point only.

To continue..

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey -