The best way to know the self is feeling oneself at the moments of reckoning. The feeling of being alone, just with your senses, may lead you to think more consciously. More and more of such moments may sensitize ‘you towards you’, towards others. We become regular with introspection and retrospection. We get ‘the’ gradual connect to the higher self we may name Spirituality or God or just a Humane Conscious. We tend to get a rhythm again in life. We need to learn the art of being lonely in crowd while being part of the crowd. A multitude of loneliness in mosaic of relations! One needs to feel it severally, with conscience, before making it a way of life. One needs to live several such lonely moments. One needs to live severallyalone.

Sunday, 13 January 2013


He was regular with reading since an early age. He had no particular choice of what he would pick to read. Some magazines and newspapers were in routine. For others, a careful scan of the ‘print’ would make for his decision. Once, into the written work, if it clicked, he went to finish it with full joy of reading.

Now, as he reflects back, he sees it as one of the formative processes of his being, for it inspired him to think independently of what he read and write his thoughts on the issues he thought over; he thinks over.

In the process, when he was still in college, he picked up a magazine on Osho, found it interesting, and went on reading it. The reading of magazines pushed him to read more on Osho. Along with the magazine, he found some books. The Osho reading went on almost for a year.

Yes, interesting it was. But he could not come to like it. But he never reasoned about it. The continued reading for almost a year was more about reading something unorthodox and thinking over it.

Meanwhile, he started reading Swami Vivekananda. It happened so that he visited a Ramkrishna Mission hospital. At the entrance of the hospital he saw a book shop selling Vedanta and other cultural and spiritual literature. While leaving the hospital, he gave a visit to the book shop. The visit took more than an hour. He read some pages of some books and decided to pick some by Swami Vivekananda.

Swami Vivekananda is known globally for his spiritual views and for resurrecting the pride of Indian spiritual heritage.  He, too, was having this image of Swamiji when he picked up the books from that shop. But it was going to be his first serious reading of Swamiji.

As he started reading Swamiji, he found him more and more drawn towards reading him even more. Moreover, he found an instant liking.

This happened while he was still reading Osho. Swamiji and Osho, both delved deeper into the spiritual practices like Yoga and Meditation. But as he read more of Swamiji, he found many pointers of contradictions in Osho’s viewpoint. When the contradictions created many layers, he stopped reading Osho.

Reading a text has to be a text-reading. Try to be as objective as you can be. If you read something, try not to be trapped in its environs, be it negative or positive in the worldly means. Read the work in the context of its writing plot but if you have to think over it, never allow its context to influence yours. He thought so. He thinks so. He believes so.

While reading Osho, he never thought to follow him. It had not happened to him with any other written work yet. Also, he had made it a point for him to follow earnestly. He still follows this sell-evolved principle.

But Swamiji was the one who became a natural exception to this principle. He read and rewrote his words. He tried to follow his teachings. He came to know his limitations in following them.

But if the inclination to follow Swamiji came to him naturally, equally spontaneous was the fact that he never felt dominated by his teachings. He tried to follow all of his teachings initially but realized he could not. And he never felt sorry for it.

He doesn’t feel sorry about it for, he knows reading Swamiji is still about the ‘Process’ in his life. 

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey -