The best way to know the self is feeling oneself at the moments of reckoning. The feeling of being alone, just with your senses, may lead you to think more consciously. More and more of such moments may sensitize ‘you towards you’, towards others. We become regular with introspection and retrospection. We get ‘the’ gradual connect to the higher self we may name Spirituality or God or just a Humane Conscious. We tend to get a rhythm again in life. We need to learn the art of being lonely in crowd while being part of the crowd. A multitude of loneliness in mosaic of relations! One needs to feel it severally, with conscience, before making it a way of life. One needs to live several such lonely moments. One needs to live severallyalone.

Tuesday, 28 August 2012


How many times do I question you?
How many times do I doubt my faith?
How many moments of pain and agony?
How many blows of unspoken spell of tyranny?
How many times would I fail me?
Like this
But, isn’t the evolution that I need?

How many times would you fail me that I now doubt?
For, you have come always to my rescue
Yes, but I can see some exceptions now,
Probably, what lies ahead, has stuck somewhere
For, I could not realize your hand so many times
For, I was led to question me and you so many times

O’ the perception of the absolute purity,
O’ Almighty!
Please, don’t suspect my questions
Please, don’t question my intentions
You know they have valid premises
It’s all in the circumstances that you force me in
It’s all in the repercussions that you make me in

Yes, but I am thankful,
For the moments,
When you bring me beyond my questions,
Every time,
But, again,
You give me more reasons to doubt

Perhaps, you also need this vehicle of evolution,
Your unseen hand forcing me to look for my path again
I question, you take me beyond questions again
I look for life, you take my beyond this life again
Taking me in and out of the web of existentialism
Questioning and reaffirming,
My spirit of being an existentialist at heart,
Why do they say then the faith should be doubtless, absolute?

Yes, if life is all about evolving,
Questions have to be there
For, any spot of sustained suspicion,
Hampers the faith’s evolution

O’ Almighty!
You’re fully inside me, in all; it is said,
But I don’t know if I’ve seen even a trace of my internal you
The battle is on, the journey is the real refinement

I had lost my faith,
Cannot say when and how again,
I came to look inside for you
Yes, there has been some clarity
But, questions do exist,
For the soul finds it difficult always,
To accept your hands in,
Some absolute negatives,
The life has been through  

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey -