The best way to know the self is feeling oneself at the moments of reckoning. The feeling of being alone, just with your senses, may lead you to think more consciously. More and more of such moments may sensitize ‘you towards you’, towards others. We become regular with introspection and retrospection. We get ‘the’ gradual connect to the higher self we may name Spirituality or God or just a Humane Conscious. We tend to get a rhythm again in life. We need to learn the art of being lonely in crowd while being part of the crowd. A multitude of loneliness in mosaic of relations! One needs to feel it severally, with conscience, before making it a way of life. One needs to live several such lonely moments. One needs to live severallyalone.

Saturday, 17 December 2011


I may not know where I am
I may not know where headed I am
But I know who I am

I may not touch the wind
I may not soak the rain
I may not feel the Zen
I may not end up in the heaven
But I know I am not afraid anymore

Excruciating, reverberating, rejuvenating
Moments had their breathe squeezing
When they saw the disaster impending
Moments sang the song of the thrill
The voice became softer devoid of any shrill

I stand there, quiet,
To wage another fight
Moments reckon of the looming night
Inviting me
To the darkness of uncertainty
But I know
I am still there
For your smile of serenity
I will zoom past this night

I may not know where I am
I may not know where headed I am
But I know who I am

Its stranger still!
Life, a loser, calls, says! Behold
Let's fight again,
For the sake of romance of fighting
For the joy of adventure of losing

Its stranger still!
Life recalls, says! Listen
We have been the bedfellows
Always fighting
Never thinking of going away

You see your win I see mine
You claim your survival
I claim my revival
I have been there, listening
To all, it says, sifting
Through, what it means
Assimilating what it aims
Reading what it failed to name

I know through its odd sways
I will, again, find my ways
I know I am the one, whom
I have been looking for
I may not know where I am
I may not know where headed I am
But I know who I am

Life, you say I was mismatched
And there,
You so deliberately crashed
O’ your materialist ways, with
Layers of assorted ambiguities
I was there, I am there, I will be there
With all my ‘too’ simplistic ethos and mores
That you found so hard to believe
You went on to the extent, to

O’ life, but
Isn’t it your way to go?
A flow, marked with
Such dismay
That you ceased to exist for me

I won’t take anymore of your artificial beauty
I won’t listen to anymore of your cacophonous eloquence
I won’t be deceived anymore by your innocent look
I won’t be betrayed anymore by duality of your words
I reclaimed who I was and who I need to be
I know I am through this important learning

I may not know where I am
I may not know where headed I am
But I am now on the way to be me
For I know who I was
For I know who I am going to be!

March 28, 2011

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey -