The best way to know the self is feeling oneself at the moments of reckoning. The feeling of being alone, just with your senses, may lead you to think more consciously. More and more of such moments may sensitize ‘you towards you’, towards others. We become regular with introspection and retrospection. We get ‘the’ gradual connect to the higher self we may name Spirituality or God or just a Humane Conscious. We tend to get a rhythm again in life. We need to learn the art of being lonely in crowd while being part of the crowd. A multitude of loneliness in mosaic of relations! One needs to feel it severally, with conscience, before making it a way of life. One needs to live several such lonely moments. One needs to live severallyalone.

Saturday 20 February 2010


Endings seem to lie in wait. Absorbed in our experience we forget that an ending might be approaching. Consequently, when the ending signals its arrival, we can feel ambushed. Perhaps there is an instinctive survival mechanism in us that distracts us from the inevitability of ending, thus enabling us to live in the present with innocence and whole-heartedness.

Experience has its own secret structuring. Endings are natural. Often what alarms us as an ending can in fact be the opening of a new journey – a new beginning that we could never have anticipated; one that engages forgotten parts of the heart. Due to the current overlay of therapy terminology in our language, everyone now seems to wish for “closure.” This word is unfortunate: it is not faithful to the open-ended rhythm of experience. Creatures made of clay with porous skins and porous minds are quite incapable of the hermetic sealing that the strategy of “closure” seems to imply. The word completion is a truer word. Each experience has within it a dynamic of unfolding and a narrative of emergence. Oscar Wilde once said, “The supreme vice is shallowness. Whatever is realized is right.” When a person manages to trust experience and be open to it, the experience finds its own way to realization. Though such an ending may be awkward and painful, there is a sense of wholesomeness and authenticity about it. Then the heart will gradually find that this stage has run its course and the ending is substantial and true. Eventually the person emerges with a deeper sense of freedom, certainty, and integration.

The nature of calendar time is linear; it is made up of durations that begin and end. The Celtic imagination always sensed that beneath time there was eternal depth. This offers us a completely different way of relating to time. It relieves time of the finality of ending. While something may come to an ending on the surface of time, its presence, meaning, and effect continue to be held into the eternal. This is how spirit unfolds and deepens. In this sense, eternal time is intimate; it is where the unfolding narrative of individual life is gathered and woven.

John O'Donohue, "To Bless the Space Between Us"/ Charity Focus


Still feeling the time when I was my that,
Man Friday
Under the sun, on any given day
Treading the unwritten
That would go my inner way

Though I am still my man Friday
I cannot say I am that ‘me’
Under the sun, on any given day
Looking now for the chances
To make it even a single day
To rediscover my Man Friday

My Man Friday would make for all
For chances that he created,
Out of the chances that I lost
Healing everything,
Crossing every wall
Never playing the guest,
Always being the host
Roaming free beyond this world
On song of the will
In tune with the Soul
My Man Friday
Being my whole

Will You come to my help
To complete the journey
On the path, to my soul..

Friday 19 February 2010


Stuck at the point of replicating no-where
Struck by the waves of emotional fervour
Caught by the inertia of sentimental rigour
Oh yeah, I find this estate to be lasting forever

Lost, no,
Not into what is said to be a loss
The surreal feelings of my inner mass
In a world of my of my own class
In a world of harmony of gloss
But living again,
By my world of that familiar chaos

Inviting more and more spaces of no-where
Rejuvenating the longing me,
Abdicating the momentary fear

Sunday 14 February 2010


Basic concept of 'growth and development' applies well to BHU. It has grown even during the years when all the debate of its academic decline started emerging and gradually formed a sustainable trend. But it seems it has stopped developing. The claims that BHU of the day can boast of, are just like some dimming bright spots consistently loosing their sheen in the widening administrative Goliath.

Faculties, departments, number of students, infrastructure, campus area and the so-called South Campus, everything has seen the upward curve but the number and quality of placements, pedagogy and teaching faculty and talent pool standards.

Here I want to make it clear that these lines are not just to vent out any anger that I have. It is due to my respect to this great institution that I am compelled to write these lines.

These are as true as existence of BHU. These are hard statistical facts without any manipulations.

IMS and IT, two noticeable entities, have seen worst what an academic entity can see. IMS had to cancel its first merit list of MBBS students some years ago while IT has been marred with controversial student deaths and suicide cases revolving around its placements ring. Add the feather to the cap with appointment of new IT director, a controversial figure whose name has done rounds for being involved in scam in his previous institution.

How can we expect if such steps are going to sustain what Mahamana had envisioned once?

BHU is growing but has stopped developing. The university that has around 120 departments, some advance science research centers, many standard labs, a big enough library and ample of infrastructure support, has to be content with placement figures of just IT. Why can't it make its other courses at par with IT matching its good placement figures? Go and ask a normal UG or PG student with hope of getting placement and the answer will be!--probably we all know.

To counter it, some of us can talk of BHU Law School, IMS and Institute of Agricultural Sciences as being in top ranks. But these numbers are limited to words quoted in these lines only. Compare their placement level with any of individual department of India's five most prestigious universities and the truth will be naked, before everyone's eyes.

An academic institution can only grow when its intellectual pool of teachers and students grow in harmony but this balance seems long gone. Still BHU has remarkable names in both categories, still many of its students are making big in their professional arena, and still some of the outgoing students are able to make a good beginning. But the numbers representing the last category are so poor that we need desperate measures.

So, the rigour in selection is there with more or less redone syllabi now but the coursework and syllabi realization have become a temperamental problem, based on long years of internal talent in-breeding in the university subsequently transferred to the mass of incoming talent pool leading to a casual attitude.

The university needs to address this problem immediately and its alumnus is needed to make a timely and active intervention; intervention that talks of consciousness out of attachment, but devoid of its political underpinnings.

Growth, we have seen. BHU needs to develop now.

Saturday 13 February 2010


It happened again

Words, sometimes they come
Words, sometimes they run
Words, almost they cram
Words, sometimes they jam
Words, sometimes they make
Words, almost they break

It happened again

Words they could not tell
What I intended,
To be left on our trail
Words, they seemed to nail,
Failing me before You
This time as well
As me,
Words, almost as they fail,
Sending me to the agonizing wail

Words, sometimes they don’t come
Words, sometimes they just run

It happened again
Words, for their whole equations
Letters could not find combinations
Leaving a trail
Words, sometimes they, too, wail
Words, almost as they fail

Friday 12 February 2010

अंतर का शोर कहीं ज्यादा है

ब्रह्मा शंकर पाण्डेय, १९७४

आहिस्ते बोलो,
बहरे नहीं, सुन लेंगे कान,
पांवों की आहट पकड़ते हैं।
सदियों से शब्दों के ढेले खा
उखड़े हैं, अटके हैं
किसी तरह लटके हैं
और अधिक ढेले अब मत मारो,
नीचे गिर जायेंगे--

आहिस्ते बोलो !
सुना बहुत शोर और देख चुके साज,
अंतर का शोर कहीं ज्यादा है बाहर से,
गुम्बद में गूंजती आवाजों-सी
मौन संवेदनाएं,
क्षुब्ध यातनाएं
अभी-अभी सोयी हैं
उलझन में थककर
कोरे अल्फाजों से बेधो मत,
आहिस्ते बोलो !

Wednesday 10 February 2010


I was, as usually, drifting along
Soaked in my thoughts for so long
When, all of a sudden,
I heard the thaw of the rain song
That rhythm of the precipitation came along
To the chaos of my thoughts in the oblong
That, the world says often goes wrong
But the synthesis made it to be strong
Fluid metamorphic beads, the drops spilling over daylong
Soaking the flesh in their folksong
Taking my soul along
To the known unseen path where I belong


Many spiritual seekers have had glimpses of the absolute unity of all existence, but few are capable of or willing to live up to the many challenging implications inherent in that revelation. The revelation of perfect unity, that there is no other, is a realization of the ultimate impersonality of all that seems to be so very personal.

Applying this realization to the arena of personal relationships is something that most seekers find extremely challenging, and is the number one reason why so many seekers never come completely to rest in the freedom of the Self Absolute. Inherent in the revelation of perfect unity is the realization that there is no personal me, no personal other, and therefore no personal relationships. Coming to terms with the challenging implications of this stunning realization is something that few people are willing to do, because realizing the true impersonality of all that seems so personal challenges every aspect of the illusion of a separate, personal self. It challenges the entire structure of personal relationships which are born of needs, wants, and expectations.

This is the challenge, to let your view get this vast, to let your view get so vast that your identity disappears. Then you realize that there is no other, and there is nothing personal going on. Contrary to the way the ego will view such a realization, it is in reality the birth of true love, a love which is free of all boundaries and fear. To the ego such uncontaminated love is unbearable in its intimacy. When there are no clear separating boundaries and nothing to gain the ego becomes disinterested, angry, or frightened. In a love where there is no other, there is nowhere to hide, no one to control, and nothing to gain. It is the coming together of appearances in the beautiful dance of the Self called love.

To the seeker who is sincere, an experiential glimpse of this possibility is not enough. If you are sincere, you will find it within yourself to go far beyond any glimpse. You will find within your Self the courage to let go of the known and dive deeply into the Unknown heart of a mystery that calls you only to itself.

Adyashanti, "The Heart of Relationship"

Sunday 7 February 2010


Seeking some moments of calm
A soul aligned with the life of chaos
Gets some desperate calls
And feels to run again not having any qualms

But the human soul has this tenacity
The tenacity armed with a counter propensity
Yes it depends on the individual intensity
The soul again decides to fight this brevity

To be on to the path looking for the moments
As they were at the beginning; as they were at the end
Away from the lure of easy moments
To the elements of rational bewilderment

From the moments of brevity to the moments of eternity
Letting your thoughts come again to my salvation
Cleaning the qualms purifying the chaos
Sending me again to the moments of tranquility
Away from these desperate moments of laxity

Tuesday 2 February 2010


As awareness becomes yet subtler, able to discern even the muffled whispers of the mind, we are confronted with what a dying musician friend called “the Unfinished Symphony” – the dreams and longings that have played themselves out unabated just beneath the surface of our worldly persona – the unfilled, the uncompleted, the oft-resented inheritance of a life only partially lived. Many coming upon long unresolved issues and old holdings, find it difficult to simply let go. The holding around the unresolved, the unapproached has become so cramped close that it seems to take considerable effort to soften it back to its natural openness. But forgiveness acts almost as a kind of lubricant to allow the yet held to slip lightly away.

Indeed, in theory it would be ideal to just let go of heavy states such as resentment or fear or guilt. But in practice we discover that the considerable momentum of our identification with such feelings is not so easily dispersed. Before we are fully able to just be mindful of such feelings, to just let them be without the least tendency to cling or condemn, it may well be necessary to deepen the practice of forgiveness – to actualize the potential for letting go that the open-handed acceptance of forgiveness offers upon meeting the gravel-fisted judgment of the often unkind mind.

The practice of forgiveness opens the mind to the natural compassion of the heart. Practiced daily, it allows ancient clinging to dissolve. But in the beginning forgiveness may have something of an odd quality about it. One needs first to recognize that guilt arises uninvited. It is important to use forgiveness not as a means of squashing guilt, or even upleveling the unforgiveness of another, but as a means of dissolving obstructions. At first one may feel they did nothing wrong, so why ask for or send forgiveness. But emotions are not so rational; they have a life of their own. We ask for forgiveness and offer forgiveness not because of some imagined wrongdoing but because we no longer wish to carry the load of our resentments and guilts. To allow the mind to sink into the heart. To let go and get on with it.

Forgiveness benefits oneself, not just another. Although we may open our hearts to another, it is a means of letting ourself back into our own heart. Indeed, forgiveness may be felt across hundreds of miles and even acknowledged, but that is not the primary purpose In fact, to wait for such acknowledgment is an example of how we continue unfinished business. Forgiveness finishes business by letting go of the armoring which separates one heart from another. As one teacher said, “As long as there are two there is unfinished business. When the two become one, the heart whispers to itself in every direction."

Stephen Levine
Charity Focus