The best way to know the self is feeling oneself at the moments of reckoning. The feeling of being alone, just with your senses, may lead you to think more consciously. More and more of such moments may sensitize ‘you towards you’, towards others. We become regular with introspection and retrospection. We get ‘the’ gradual connect to the higher self we may name Spirituality or God or just a Humane Conscious. We tend to get a rhythm again in life. We need to learn the art of being lonely in crowd while being part of the crowd. A multitude of loneliness in mosaic of relations! One needs to feel it severally, with conscience, before making it a way of life. One needs to live several such lonely moments. One needs to live severallyalone.

Friday, 1 January 2010


Despair that I felt
Was in the air again
Something went wrong, terribly wrong
As I could not see the fault
Though I left the cleft wide open
Revisiting my earlier wrongs
I could not find words, words with soul
That could tell me here you went wrong
And drift me away of the jolt again
Jolts that have been there as true pals
In my demanding moments
When the voids had ruled the whole

Containment that I could have felt
Like always and peacefully
When the jolts would fail to pull me back
In the world, a world of mine
At times marred with a crisis
That underlines the futility
A futility of following the voices other than the soul
And utility of the word ‘inhibition’
My mates, the jolts would pull me back
Again pushing me to realize the fragility of such thoughts

This time, I slipped into the abeyance
Where the cleft found itself to be marred by the crack
The chorus is growing larger
Why I am not realizing my fault
Going away again taking the fault to go near you again
Wide and farther
I again needed a reason to reason me wrong again
That could push me away from the jolts
Even for a temporary pause
When I could be pushed to the thinking
Aligning along the less traveled, less jolted
More reverberated moments of cruising along with you
Quiet and convincing

But alas! That seems to have gone?
To its own abeyance
Sending my thinking to the trance
Taking me again there
To those true pals, my jolts
Away from the recently known harmony
When the despair and the containment
Had learnt to give them chance
You, too, could not come to take the call
When it was needed the most
The time when I started the journey to the lost
You, too, could not make the call
That was probably all, hitting me to the wall
Pushing the voids up the frost
A horizon that seems to have lost

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