The best way to know the self is feeling oneself at the moments of reckoning. The feeling of being alone, just with your senses, may lead you to think more consciously. More and more of such moments may sensitize ‘you towards you’, towards others. We become regular with introspection and retrospection. We get ‘the’ gradual connect to the higher self we may name Spirituality or God or just a Humane Conscious. We tend to get a rhythm again in life. We need to learn the art of being lonely in crowd while being part of the crowd. A multitude of loneliness in mosaic of relations! One needs to feel it severally, with conscience, before making it a way of life. One needs to live several such lonely moments. One needs to live severallyalone.
Sunday 1 November 2009
CHAOS, FAITH AND LIFE
We are born. We grow up. We decay. We depart. The unidirectional flow that life has adopted has dominating role of Chaos. The elements so ingrained are probably the most dynamic constituent that represent the faculty of reminding beacons – the need for us to know us; to take us from ignorance to knowledge; to make the known larger an entity; to bring as much order to our that existence of ‘I’ and ‘us’ as we can; to validate the Faith that sustains us. We arrive with Chaos, totally absent minded of everything. We start growing; realizing what belong to us; realizing what is ‘us’. Subconsciously, consciously, spontaneously, compulsively, we bring Order to outdo the Disorder. Faith gains dominance over skepticism.
Life has a flow.
But the Disorder never goes. The Chaos remains there. It manifests vitally in the final moments to tell us where we faltered; what we couldn’t do to bring the harmony of the Chaos in sync with the tune of the Order. At moments it leads us to question our Faith.
Chaos turns us to the Faith. It turns us away from the Faith.
Faith has different dimensions in our lives. It manifests in varying forms infiltrating us in varying degrees. Though we may develop spiritual, religious, ritualistic, atheistic, monotheistic, ignorant and every other conceivable dimension of individualism, we sustain and continue the tradition of Faith and Chaos is its driver.
As a normal human being, we turn to the Supreme, be it a tragedy, to seek his protection or to complain; be it a celebration, to convey our thanks; be it our day to day lives, to pray to sustain our lives in a proper order. The Faith scrolls on. Some of us who don’t believe in the institution of the Supreme, have varying degrees of Faith in their own capabilities given the prevailing circumstances in their lives.
Faith is the God. Faith is the Supreme. Faith is the realization of the Self.
And Chaos is its alter-ego.
Life is the sum total of the cumulative outcome of equations of ‘Poise-gained’, Poise-lost’ and Poise-sustained’.
Chaos alters the Poise. It brings about modifications and change in our day to day lives. It may have both aspects – supporting and disturbing. Consequences vary from transforming effects to ruffling of a few moments. It disturbs the Faith that we have in life and its driving forces. It leads us to scrutinize. We start scrutinizing us. We tend to scrutinize everyone else in our social sphere. Chaos magnifies. The process takes its course. We go through the event or the eventuality and accept the outcome. In some cases, some of us revolt to change the change. The disturbance recedes. The Poise alters the Chaos.
During some of these moments, the magnifying Chaos may lead us to the moments when our helplessness takes us to the purest of us, when we criticize us first; when we can honestly see our faults; when we can see the fault lines in our living sphere involving people and relations that form the congregation of ‘us’. We put the sharpest and straight forward questions to us first. During some of these moments, we get platonic with our senses; we may get back the largely missing innocence. We come to see the reality as it is and not as we had started perceiving it. These moments of introspection may lead us to the nearly perfect Order in our lives if we are able to sustain them.
But something happens most of the time that pulls us to the reality that we were living in, where we tend to justify us for every deed of us. The nearly perfect Order tilts more towards the Chaos on the horizon. Again we find us engaged in equations of the Poise – the Poise of the Chaos and the Order.